101 Things Draco Would Never Say
by Firedragon12
Summary: This is NOT a list. Well, not really. I'm writing 101 chapters, and they all have something Draco would never say in them. Hopefully, it is funny. Each chapter is short, but I LOVE Reveiws, so do it or die. Thank you.
1. Hufflepuff cuteness

A/N—This idea was origianlly a list, but that isn't allowed so I'm going to write this in scenes. By the time I'm done, there should be 101 chapters. **THE THING DRACO WILL NEVER SAY WILL BE IN BOLD, LIKE SO**. Enjoy!  
  
101 Things Draco would never say  
  
Draco- is on the Hogwarts express with Crabbe and Goyle Great, back to stupid Hogwarts again. I'm just sooo happy.  
  
Crabbe- disgusted grunt  
  
Goyle- disgusted snort  
  
Draco- Let's go tease Potter, shall we?  
  
Crabbe- happy snort  
  
Goyle- happy grunt  
  
Draco- walks down the hall of the train **Look at that Hufflepuff girl! She's hot!  
**  
Everybody within hearing range- stares  
  
Hufflepuff girl (now named Winna) -- blushes madly, then giggles See, I always knew the bad boys liked me.  
  
Harry- Developed a new taste in girls, Draco?  
  
Hermione- No more Pansy gags? How sad.  
  
Ron- Hey, why don't you guys ever leave me any good lines?  
  
Draco- I love people in Hufflepuff! I always have! So just leave me and my Snooklewums alone!  
  
Winna- Ooh, that's so romantic Draco!  
  
Harry- leaves room to barf  
  
Ron- follows  
  
Hermione- NEXT CHAPTER PLEASE!!!  
  
Firedragon- Happy to oblige.  
  
A/N- Please review! 


	2. Harry, are you my friend?

A/N- Wow, three reviews for one chapter! I'm so happy! Thanks! Oh, and these chapters go in no particular order, so one chapter could be set on the last day of school, then the next could be set on the 36th day of school.   
  
everybody is sitting at their tables in the great hall, after the sorting   
  
Harry- Well, we got some good people this time.  
  
Hermione- We got the group of kids that tipped over a boat in the lake, then ran naked through the Great Hall.  
  
Harry- Doesn't mean they won't be great.  
  
Ron- snorts into pudding  
  
Harry- Everybody's always against the hero. Hmph.  
  
Ron- dumps pudding on Harry's head  
  
Harry- ARGGG!  
  
Draco- walks along the Gryffindor table, looking for someone  
  
Draco- There you are Harry!  
  
Harry- Get away.  
  
Draco- **Harry, I need to know. Are you still my best friend?**  
  
Ron- dumps pudding on Draco's head as well  
  
Draco- Does this mean we aren't friends anymore? tears up  
  
Hermione- Want me to kill him? looks gleeful at the prospect  
  
Harry – No, then there wouldn't be a plot.  
  
Hermione- Good point.  
  
Draco- Runs away sobbing   
  
Ron- Well, I think we handled that well. 


	3. Feet Fetish

A/N- YAY! I have NINE WHOLE REVEIWS!!!!!! SCORE! I need more though! My hunger is never satisfied! GIMMIE, GIMMIE, GIMMIE! Please. Sorry about all the capital letters, but I'm rather hyper right now. I will eventually have 101 chapters, you'll see!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!! cough Sorry. On with the story.() Now stand for actions.

Slytherin and Griffindor Potions class

Snape- Draco is wonderful, Draco is great, let us all bow down to Draco! (Kneels on the dungeon floor, and kisses his feet (Draco's, not his))

Draco- (squeals and hides behind his chair) Ahh! Get away, get away!

Dumbledore- (draws back from his pensieve and looks at Draco)(Please note, they are now in Dumbledore's office) That's simply awful. We must fire Snape, our only spy in the Order of the Pheionx, and one of our most valuble members, immediately! I am completely out of character in this story!

Draco- That's okay, I'm out of character all 101 chapters!

Dumbledore- I feel much better. Do you have any socks?

Draco- Umm... I'm wearing some, yes...

Dumbledore- YOU ARE? (Bends down and sniffs Draco's feet)

Draco- (squeals) Not that again!

Dumbledore- What? Oh, yes, the problem. Is there anything you like me to do about it?

Draco- (Solemly) Yes. (Looooooooooong pause)

Dumbledore- Ummm... are you going to tell me?

Draco- (Solemly) Yes. (Another Loooooooooooong pause)

Dumbledore- Soon?

Draco-(Solemly) Yes. (Another Looooooooooooong pause)

Dumbledore- I HAVE GATHERED THE FACT, THAT YOU ARE SOLEM AND LIKE TO PAUSE! BUT PLEASE JUST TELL ME!!!!! (Inhales deeply)

Draco- Why didn't you just ask? **I want to be in Griffindor!**

Dumbledore- Good luck with that. (Leaves room)


End file.
